You were a surprise, you know. For many well thought out reasons, Daddy & I decided that two was our magic number. But........God obviously knew you were meant to be with our tribe. Even though we were unprepared for the news of your existence, there was no hiding my elation because in all the world, nothing is more spectacular than growing a baby! And Daddy was obviously thrilled, too.........especially at that breath holding moment when we took a peek via ultrasound & heard the words, "It's a boy!" Daddy shed a few tears that day.
Your pregnancy was very uneventful and, truth be told, I don't remember much. Simone was 3 and Kaiya 1 which meant my life was busy, busy. Being pregnant with you, though, was special in that I knew you would be my last. I had a belly cast made, bought a few new carriers & replenished my cloth diaper stash. Also, we were planning your birth at home which was everso cherished! I spent countless hours reading, discussing & looking forward to that day. Your day.
Fast forward to May 18, 2007. I was 8 days post-EDD and awoke at 3:30am with some cramping. Could this be it?? The anxiousness of the moment prevented me from falling back asleep so I decided on a warm bath to relax and hopefully get a few more zzzzz's. Nope, that wasn't happening. I dried off, got back in bed & prayed for rest because even though the cramps weren't intense, I knew that today would be YOUR day!
At 5:30am-ish I headed outside for a walk around the block in hopes to jump start labor. The sky was clear, the birds were chirping & the lilacs were in full bloom. To this day, the smell of lilacs brings a rush of melancholy. About 3/4 of the way around the block contractions surged full force. They came on so quickly I had a moment of panic so I waddled home, limping & grimacing, wishing we'd called the midwife sooner. Who knew? When I got to the porch & reached for the screen door....*gush*. Ummmm, Kermit?
I don't completely remember Daddy's demeanor but nervousness was definitely in the room. I hopped in the shower while he made a few phone calls & started filling the pool which incidentally wasn't clamped shut so precious hot water leaked everywhere. The shower wasn't helping at all so I crawled into the pool that was not quite warm enough & not quite full enough but I couldn't have cared less. I just wanted you out!
Titi Nora arrived first and she lovingly did her nurse-y thing by checking me out, checking you out and giving me the go-ahead to push. Jennifer wasn't there yet (cool Chicago midwife) but I decided to try a few pushes anyway because even though there wasn't an overwhelming urge, the labor was so intense, I just wanted it to be over! And of course, I wanted to hold my baby boy..........
Around 6:30am Jen walked in the bedroom and soon thereafter I started giving it my all. I was in tremendous pain because you were barreling down & out and I couldn't find the right position. Instinctively I came up to my haunches & squatted in the water finding perfect balance. A few minutes later your head emerged and I found great peace. I leaned back into Daddy's arms and tried to guide you out but you wouldn't cooperate. I asked Jen for a little help & at 6:50am, she gently reached in, wiggled your shoulders out & slid you onto my chest.
I could write for days about the following minutes & hours & years of your life but I'll save that for another time. Right now I just hope you were able to re-live that magical moment with me, one more time.